Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Resources
For those parents who choose and are able to embark on the journey to have another baby after loss, we know what a rollercoaster you are on. PAL brings about so many mixed emotions, and so many ups and downs.
We have included some resources below that may be helpful companions along this path.
Common Mixed Emotions
- Mixed emotions when finding out I was pregnant.
- Fear over sharing my pregnancy news.
- Desire to share my pregnancy news early because if I had a loss I would need support, and there is no “safe zone.”
- Anger that I could no longer experience the naive joy of pregnancy when you haven’t had a loss.
- Guilt/sadness over the additional monitoring this baby was getting that the baby I lost did not.
- Lack of trust of the medical community.
- Alternating between doubt that this pregnancy can turn out positively and confidence that it will.
- Frustration with others saying “it can’t happen again” or “I know everything will be fine.”
- Difficulty interacting with other pregnant women who had never had a loss.
- Increased fear and anxiety around week of gestation when prior loss(es) occurred.
- Struggle talking about the pregnancy or answering common question “is this your first?”
Strategies to Cope
Find an obgyn you trust and discuss health strategies with him/her (whether it’s the same one or not is a very personal choice).
Some of these strategies might include:
- Extra monitoring or doctors appointments are common.
- Preterm labor prevention (if it was an issue).
- Health conditions prevention, such as gestational diabetes and/or preeclampsia.
- Extra monitoring and/or a genetic test (if due to congenital or genetic issue).
- Delaying getting pregnant; birth spacing allows your body to recover, increasing chances of a healthy baby and reduce your chances of preterm labor.
Your Mental Health
Other strategies focus on your mental health, as this is just as important to keep healthy as your physical health:
- Consider seeking counseling with a licensed mental health professional.
- Be your own advocate as far as what you need to reduce your fear and anxiety.
- Explain your mixed emotions to family and friends openly – write a letter or email if this is too hard to speak about.
- Try yoga or meditation (there are several good apps like headspace or breathe).
- Find someone else who has been through PAL who you can talk to.
Books for Pregnancy After Loss
